Firstly, Rob turned out to be possessive, jealous and controlling so I broke up with him last month. Sometimes when the bad overrides the good you have to step back and wonder why you're still taking it all.

My brother seems a lot better. He's joined a band and got in with a different crowd and isn't drinking and smoking as much (although he is still drinking a bit, idiot). The band have been playing gigs almost every week, and their MySpace page has over 30,000 views. Pretty neat, eh?

Ahh what else has happened. It's actually incredibly hard to sum up a year in a few paragraphs.

I'm starting college next week though. This is a big thing for me. I always doubted whether I'd be able to get myself back into the educational system, so only time will tell if I can cope with it. I'm feeling optimistic though and I'm actually looking forward to going.

I got an A* in one of my GCSEs. This is actually amazing since I had no teachers or funding or anything like that. I think it proves that even people who are taught at home can pass exams and do just as well as those that are at school. So eat that Government and non-believers!

Hope everyone else is well!

I'll try to get Tamara to blog an update post on her life too.

Maya xxx

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1. Rob announced his undying love to me (I kid you not!) and now we're happily all lovey dovey which is wonderful and I feel like dying with happiness. But I won't.

2. I got a job. I get paid to stick my hands into bread machines and stab crumbs with a very sharp knife.

3. Christmas! I know that's not really happened since I last blogged but I'm still excited about it, so you know...

4. My tutor said my coursework was brilliant and I think she loves me (: yay?

5. I can't think of anything else but I swear a load of stuff has happened.

6. I got short term memory loss? I seriously can't remember anything that's happened now.

7. Oh! Oh! I went to a Halloween party with Rob, Tamara, Stacey, Lucy and my brother. It was rubbish. But the chinese afterwards was good. And Rob slept over! And so did Tamara (: very fun night. We watched about a godzillion dvds.

8. I dyed my hair brown. And got red and purple highlights to put in it.

9. I met Rob's Mum.... very scary.

10. I put on loads of weight so now I weigh as much as this Swedish guy I use to know.

Eventful couple of weeks. And now I'm stuck in my room blogging *ahem* I mean doing coursework...

Maya xx

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xXxTamaraxXx

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by James Thurber

One afternoon a big wolf waited in a dark forest for a little girl to come along carrying a basket of food to her grandmother. Finally a little girl did come along and she was carrying a basket of food. "Are you carrying that basket to your grandmother?" asked the wolf. The little girl said yes, she was. So the wolf asked her where her grandmother lived and the little girl told him and he disappeared into the wood.

When the little girl opened the door of her grandmother's house she saw that there was somebody in bed with a nightcap and nightgown on. She had approached no nearer than twenty-five feet from the bed when she saw that it was not her grandmother but the wolf, for even in a nightcap a wolf does not look any more like your grandmother than the Metro-Goldwyn lion looks like Calvin Coolidge. So the little girl took an automatic out of her basket and shot the wolf dead.

(Moral: It is not so easy to fool little girls nowadays as it used to be.)

Maya xx

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xX Tamara Xx

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Basically, the walls in my room are bare and because the wallpaper is cream-coloured then there is quite a noticeable blank space. I was thinking of putting posters up but alot of the posters these days are cheesy and also they might not look right against the cream colours (God, I'm so picky).

So I was thinking artwork. Reasonably priced but really nice and something that doesn't look too adult. Also it has to be something that I won't get sick of looking at. Oooh, oh and it has to be colourful, or at least something worth putting up on a teenagers wall.

Any ideas?

Maya xx

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xX Tamara Xx

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on the other hand that ment i had to leave The guy i like and a friend to deal with the two timing bitch who was once formaly known as our friend not good - he'd kill her and the guy she is dating as they two timed both him and my friend. it makes me so mad Lets just say she won't be invited to my birthday party.

The next day i have a full out arguement with my mum i left for school in tears in what can be discribed in a less than perfect day

My 16th in two days but i'm not exactly excited about it - no idea why it's just not anything special you know what i mean?

The guy i like my friend and maya are coming to my party so it should be good

I'm so pissed of with Ashely right now he used me to win a bet with his best friend which he swears was never made ! and his best mate is also really pissed off two A. he knows not of any bet and B. he can't belive he'd hurt me in such a way so Argh!!! basicly This is all i know what is going on but it has somthing to do with him pretending to like me and then asking his best mate how i feel about it (we were discussing it any way) and when he told Ashely what i said he lost the bet dispite me giving him permision so confuzzled there was also alot of swaering going on

Got Told by a boy at school i have a peircing stare and it makes him feel uncoforable Lol

So yeah a little confused with life right now i think i'm standing on the celing

and sam said to me in maths : Every ones changed again ( just totaly out of the blue) i was like Changed how? ....no answer

my maths teacher makes no sence he jumps from one topic to another compleatly diffrent one half wat through solving a problem i mean WTF?

xX Tamara Xx

PS Sorry I left it on a kinda random note

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Today in my drama class we were set a task . Now i'm not sure if non drama students will know this work Proxemics (May be spelt wrong and no isult to intellegence ment i honestly had no idea of this word before i started learning drama) Basicly Proxemics means the space between actors or objects to create Relationship/status Between them . for an example Some one towering over someone eles will show that one over powers the other.

Anyway- we were given the task to explore proxemics but we were not alowed to use actors instead we were given two chairs and told to use only proxemics to show the status between them .

Unfortunntly our teacher wasn't anticipating on us Turning it from an innocent task into somthing much more dirty. *Laughs*

Never stack chairs
0.o thats just a one of the things the boys did And if you don't get that your too young

So yeah . i'm never going to think of chairs in the same way .

xX Tamara Xx

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There's Roses for the Dead. The guy in the video actually looks alot like Matt, apart from the nose. He has the same hair and lost-lamb look on his face though.

Maya xxx

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Worried. Worried. Worried. Worried.

I'm sure it'll be fine. He's probably just ill or something, but physically, not mentally. Ill as in has a cold...

Maya xx

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You can be ironic but you can also be hypocritical. Is there even a difference between them?

I'm planning to phone up my tutor and ask her about it but she's only in one day a week which is pretty annoying really.

Is it ironic that Winston Churchill called the British Government a monstrous spoil-sport? Since he was, you know, Prime Minister and all....

Maya xxx

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I thought "hmm... boy... alone... scissors... oh dear." He was wearing his school uniform and I figured he was probably mitching off. With everything that happened with my brother I felt my heart pang out to him and I knew that I had to do something. So I was suddenly possessed with this feeling that I had to save the guy, that I couldn't just leave and not do anything or say anything to this kid. So when I got to the top of the hill I went up to the boy.
"Hey, excuse me." The boy turned around and I realised that he looked about 16, not 12. He blinked at me in that way people do when they're being approached by a maniac with a dog. "Are you ok? I was just worried..." I said kinda lamely.
"I'm ok," he said, looking like he was miles away from being ok.
"Do you want someone to talk to?" I asked, walking along with him. He shrugged and because I didn't want to take that as a no (being optimistic and all), I took it as a yes. I found out his name, what school he went to etc. He didn't seem up for talking and I offered to go away but he said he didn't mind, and I wasn't sure if that was a polite way of telling me to get lost or if he actually secretly wanted me to stay. I talked for about five minutes about a bunch of random things that didn't matter and I hoped that he got the impression that I cared. I didn't ask him about the scissors because I didn't want to accuse him of doing anything to make him feel uncomfortable.

Anyway I walked him to the bus stop and said bye and he said bye and that was it, I walked off home.

It's just... if my brother had had somebody go up to him and tell him that they cared it could have been so different. I'm a bit overly sensitive in those kind of areas...

I hope he doesn't kill himself.

And although it would make me feel like a prat, I hope he goes back to school and has a happy happy laugh with his friends about the crazy girl who walked him to the bus stop and that he turns out to be ok.

Maya xx

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xX Tamara Xx

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Any way i'm not here to give you a rant today Today I am going to tell you mine and Maya's Life plan and we want to know what you think.

Right The Plan is to travel - were going to buy a secound hand VW camper (You just got to love 'em) and then thats it no more stable life no more mail no more succure income (Sounds a little scarry typed like this don't you think?)so yeah Were preety crazy but it's going to be awesome i can't wait.

Wow It took me like five years to type it out on msn to Maya but yeah-

any way what coulor camper should we get? i like yellow

xXTamaraXx

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One funny highlight though. There is a bit of fencing running along the beach to stop people from climbing on the rocks that side because apparently they're dangerous. We saw a group of girls head that way but the lifeguard hurried over to stop them so they had to turn around and go back. But we waited until the lifeguard was on the other side of the beach and then legged it across. It was an 100 metre run at least and the lifeguard sort of stared at us, probably thinking that we were complete immature loonies and secretly wishing that the rocks would fall on our heads so that he could stand over our dying bodies and say "I told ya so".

Maya xx

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I am brushing my teeth and listening to Radio 4 when it starts broadcasting from the historic launch of the Large Hadron Collider at Cern. I go to the head of the stairs. Down below my wife and two younger sons are heading out the door.

"You should listen to the end of the world in the car," I say. "On Radio 4."

"Oh," my wife says blankly. "OK, we will."

"Hey, Mum," the youngest says as he grabs his book bag, "three George Bushes are walking through the jungle and they come to a river. They can't figure out how to get across, but then a genie suddenly appears and says..."

The door slams shut behind him.

As the countdown begins on Radio 4, I realise that up until this point a small part of me has been hoping that the end of the world will start today, because I have some errands I've been putting off, but then I realise that if the world does get sucked into a black hole, I won't hear the rest of the joke. I try to figure out how the joke might end. The genie probably grants the George Bushes three wishes. But three in total, or three apiece?

The world doesn't end, however, which means I still have to go and buy a christening present. It's the sort of errand I do not know how to go about, beyond staring balefully at my wife until she agrees to do it for me. She ignores my pleading eyes. "Go to Peter Jones," she says. She tells me of a specific area alongside sporting goods where I will find things to answer my needs.

"What do you mean? A christening department?"

"Fourth floor, next to sporting goods," she says. "Just go."

Some time after I set off, I suddenly realise I don't even know how to get to Peter Jones, and I find myself cycling frantically around the bit of London where I have always assumed it must be. When it finally turns up, I am running late and sweating. I go directly to the fourth floor. To the right of sporting goods I find a large display of luggage. I phone my wife at her bookshop.

"The place you sent me doesn't exist," I say.

"They must have moved it," she says. "Try around silverware, ground floor."

"I came in that way," I say. "You just want me to run round in..."

"You could ask someone for help," she says.

I hang up on her.

While walking out through the silverware department and swearing under my breath, I pass a glass case full of christening-appropriate objects. I ring my wife again.

"I don't know what to get," I say.

"Where are you?" she says.

"In Peter Jones, somewhere."

"Is an apology in order, do we think?"

"There's no time," I say. "I'm torn between a rattle shaped like Mr Punch, which is actually quite scary, and a £400 spoon."

"Sorry," she says, "he's trying to buy a christening present and he's being hopeless as usual."

"Who are you talking to?"

"A delivery man," she says.

I settle on a silver box with My First Curl stamped on it.

That evening, suffused with an illusory sense of wherewithal, I sit down next to the youngest as he watches television.

"How does the three George Bushes joke end?"

Without peeling his eyes from the telly, he says: "The genie gives them three wishes. The first George Bush says, 'I want to be 10 times cleverer' and then he builds a raft and rows across the river. The second George Bush says, 'I want to be 100 times cleverer' and grabs a vine and swings over the river. The third George Bush says, 'I want to be 1,000 times cleverer' and then he walks across the bridge."

"Ha!" I say, thinking that this is just another one of those jokes that is really about me.

Tim Dowling

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Meet Lauren and Heidi and Whitney. They're interchangeable blondes who whine their way through MTV's bogus reality show, The Hills. There's a brunette as well; her name is Audrina. Maybe if they had personalities we might be able to tell them apart; their boyfriends seem to have problems distinguishing between them as well, which sometimes leads to friction between the friends.

Though I'm too busy trying to work out which is which to notice their clothes, these girls are frequently hailed as fashion icons. Lauren launched her own clothing line in March this year. Heidi launched hers in April. Lauren, or Whitney, works at Teen Vogue. Heidi (or is it Audrina?) is an event planner. Whitney, or possibly Lauren, works at People's Revolution, which has to be the most ironically hilarious name for an LA-based fashion PR firm ever.

Could these vapid prom queens be any shallower and more annoying? The funny thing is, we're supposed to care about the daily nail-parings of these jumped-up cheerleaders, pom-pom girls, jock-chicks, Queen Bees, pampered princesses. Even if you've never been anywhere near LA, you know exactly who they are. They're the characters you always hated when they were in teen movies. And now they're everywhere — not just in teen flicks but in rom-coms and horror movies, on TV shows, popping out of magazines and newspapers, plastered all over the internet. We can't get away from them. The cheerleaders are running amok.

Once upon a time, the prom queen was a despised figure of fun, or a malicious teenage despot whose mission in life was to torment geeky classmates who didn't fit the mould. In days gone by, she would invariably get her comeuppance: blown to smithereens (Carrie) or poisoned (Heathers) or stabbed (Halloween) or flattened by a truck (Mean Girls). Or, at the very least, she would be humiliated. But not any more. Now the cheerleader is indestructible — literally so in the TV show Heroes. The jock-chicks have trampled in their Jimmy Choos all over their more simpatico sisters to usurp the role of heroine and survivor. The Final Girl in today's slasher movies is no longer Jamie Lee Curtis, girl next door, one of us; in the remake of The Texas Chain Saw Massacre it's babelicious, belly-button-baring Jessica Biel. And yes, I know Paris Hilton gets a pole through the head in House Of Wax — but it's another braindead blondie, Elisha Cuthbert, who gets to emerge unscathed for the finale.

Ironically, I think we can lay some of the blame for the prom-queen plague at the feet of smart shows like Buffy The Vampire Slayer, which didn't just turn the stereotype upside-down by making her an honorary geek and social outcast, but also introduced the then-novel idea that hot blondes who looked like Sarah Michelle Gellar weren't necessarily snotty bitches to be hissed at but heroines, worthy of our respect.

The heroine of Gossip Girl, the horribly addictive TV show that comes across like Cruel Intentions Lite, is precisely the sort of rich, popular girl who would once have been the she-villain, but now we're supposed to care about her tribulations on the Upper East Side or in the Hamptons. Even rich bitch Ashley Tisdale in the High School Musical films is a softie whose comeuppances inconvenience her for about, ooh, five seconds before she's singing and dancing again. Seriously, where's Carrie when you need her?

Maybe it's a side-effect of the Bill Gates syndrome — the geek inheriting the earth, and getting his choice of chick along with it. Young male nerds who, pre-internet, would have been social and romantic non-starters, now find themselves forming the dominant demographic, dictating movie content and taste for the rest of us. And naturally their preference is not for their geeky female counterparts, but for the sort of hot totty that, in real life, wouldn't give them the time of day. Look at the Judd Apatow school of young male-orientated comedy, in which creepy, charmless no-hopers like Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill get it on with cheerleader types. As if.

But if the male nerds end up with the prom queens, who's left for the geeky girls to get off with? Don't worry, it's not a problem; there are no geeky girls any more. Snippy Ellen Page in Juno and chubby Nikki Blonsky in Hairspray are exceptions that prove the rule. It's as though there's been a cosmetic pogrom; the prom queen has so utterly ousted her homelier rivals that, nowadays, Hollywood's idea of a girl-nerd is Katherine Heigl in 27 Dresses, or Anne Hathaway in The Devil Wears Prada, or Jessica Alba in Good Luck Chuck. But just look at them: if these actresses are nerds, then I'm Angelina Jolie. And I can assure you I'm not.

On those occasions when we do get ourselves a glimpse of genuine fem-geek, her physical "flaws" are exaggerated to such an absurd degree it's like fancy dress (see Ugly Betty). And there's an unspoken movie rule that geeky girls have to undergo a prom-queen makeover before the final credits. In upcoming movie The House Bunny, blonde bombshell Anna Faris (whom we'll give a free pass because, unlike some of the actresses I've mentioned, she is very talented) teaches a sorority house of female brainiacs how to dress like hookers so they can attract boys. Which is apparently preferable to being clever.

The makeover is endemic in real life (or what passes for real life in places like LA) as well. There must be countless young actresses who, like Lindsay Lohan, have reinvented themselves as cheerleaders, replacing their quirks with long blonde hair extensions and plasticated body parts. At least Lohan has, or had, a modicum of talent; unlike, say, Jessica Simpson, an actress so dumb she can't even play a dumb blonde convincingly — though she is lucky enough to have a film-producer dad.

But we can't just blame cheerleader-itis on the wish-fulfilment fantasies of young male nerds. Young women are increasingly colluding in their own Barbiefication — falling over themselves to have surgery to remake themselves in the image of idols who seem to resemble live-action incarnations of Disney's cartoon princesses. It's a modern epidemic that seems to have picked up speed after the remodelling of the Disney Channel in 2002 and the rise of mini-heroines like Lizzie Maguire, Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus, but it's not confined to Disney.

Films, TV shows and magazines aimed at teenagers are constantly peddling the message of "being yourself" — so long as it's a self that cleaves to the three Fs of fashion, fame and fuckability. But just watch the frantic back-pedalling if the sexuality gets too explicit, as with Annie Leibovitz's photographs of Miley Cyrus for Vanity Fair.

And the clone-like aspect is emphasised by the popularity of sister acts: Hilary and Haylie Duff or the freaky-looking Olsen Twins (whose hollow-eyed goth pose can't conceal their privileged princess personae).

Otherwise, it's as though an entire generation of young womanhood has adopted Reese Witherspoon's dumb prom queen send-up in Legally Blonde as a role model. Witherspoon was also responsible for one of the more sinister cheerleader portraits of the 1990s; in the sociopolitical satire Election, she played the ultimate schoolgirl overachiever, the terrifying Tracy Flick, last glimpsed climbing into a limo with an important Republican. It's all too easy to imagine Tracy being captain of the school basketball team, head of the Fellowship of Christian Athletes and runner-up in the Miss Alaska beauty pageant. For what is Sarah Palin if not a brown-haired Tracy Flick, 25 years on? Yes, the prom queens are taking over the asylum, and if America doesn't look sharp it really is going to find itself saddled with the cheerleader from hell.
Anne Billson

The girls from The Hills

Katherine Heigl

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Instead I'm going to the beach with Stacey and this boy-friend/friend who's a boy of hers and his friend (who is also of the male species). Hopefully it will increase my mound of friends who are boys since I only know 3 guys (not including Matt because I don't count him...) which is not good if I want to leave the area of the "non-boyfriended". I'm hoping this whole being-introduced-to-friends-of-friends thing will work out well.

Rob is coming over tomorrow to teach me bass though! He was round again last night and he came into the room and asked me when I wanted my lesson. We figured out a date and a time after 10 minutes of fussing over it and AGHHHHH I'm so excited! I think him and my brother had been smoking a bit of dope last night though so he probably only asked me because he was high and he'll wake up this morning and not remember a thing. But then again I'm trying to remain positive!

Maya xx

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I've learned that you can keep going
Long after you think you can't

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So these are actually all things that normal people get excited about. I should probably turn into a total recluse, that might suit my life a little bit more. I was meant to go out with Stacey today but I ended up going out with my family and she ended up going out with hers. Rob also came round last night and sat with me and watched Over The Hedge (not my choice, I was babysitting my little sister at the time). My brother was in his room but Rob sat with us for the whole film and half of another one. He makes these really funny comments at certain points in the film. Also we had a massive debate about the title of Over The Hedge. Something like:
Rob: why is it called over the hedge?
Me: well basically... there's this hedge *looks at him* called steve. and they have to try and get over it
Rob: *laughs* i should have figured that... but why didn't they call it over the bear *gestures to the bear on the tv screen*
Me: well i suppose they felt the hedge was more important
Rob: well they should of called it "over the bear, over the hedge"
Me: yeah... *laughs* but it doesn't really have the same effect as "over the hedge"
Rob: damn... good point
Me: but.. since the hedge is called Steve they could have called it "over steve" but then again that's a bit weird...
Rob: or they could have called it "over many things, including a hedge"
Me: oh yeah.. hmm i like it

It carried on for ages but we both ended up laughing over it all. Ohhh happy times...

Maya xxx

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I'm doing what I always do though and thinking about all the bad things that could happen and then thinking and thinking so that I get really nervous about it.

What if all the bitchy girls from my old school are there? And what the heck am I going to wear? And and... you get the point.

It'll be fine though. You can totally tell that this is my first venture into a club haha.

Maya xx

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Glasses shopping. Kind of weird, eh? I still can't really believe it. The worst part was when I felt such a strong urge to buy some chocolate peanuts that I dragged him into a sweet shop and bought some. I go in there alot with my friends and the woman always says hello and smiles and talks to us. But when I went in there with Rob I smiled and said hello but she stared at me and for the whole 8 minutes that we were in there nobody said a word. I glanced at Rob and he looked so unbareably uncomfortable that all I could do was smile apologetically at him. I got out of the shop and said to Rob:
Me: God that was awkward... she usually talks when I go in there with my friends
Rob: Ah well have you ever been in there with a boy before?
Me: Noo... but then again when I'm in town with a boy I don't tend to take them into sweetie shops

It was my Mum's idea to go glasses shopping and she is such a sneaky cow (I really don't mean that, I love her for it!) that when Rob came round to get his wallet from our house (he'd left it behind the day before) and my brother was out at college my Mum announced her big idea to all of us and I almost choked on my hot chocolate.

I felt kiddish - and not just because I dragged him into a sweet shop - because it had been my Mum who suggested it. I wanted to die right there and then, although I'm really glad I didn't. I just wish something could happen between us which wasn't provoked by my Mum.

And also about feelings... I don't think I want to go out with him, not yet anyway. I almost feel as though I want to talk to him on a friend scale, nothing more than that. I think he values me more as somebody to talk to rather than a potential girlfriend and that makes me feel pretty important. What's the point in having a girlfriend anyway when you can't tell them anything? We talked over the two hours that we were in town and I felt that he really opened up to me. I tried not to be too pushy or act too surprised when he told me some pretty damn personal stuff, stuff that I can't even imagine having to go through in my life.

Maya xx

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I need a body language translater. And quick!

Maya x

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My lucky star

So I might try
To bring back what we had back then
Cause time is moving quickly now
Still out of reach
Giving in I start to fall to pieces
Letting go seems so hard
Lighting up and burning out

My lucky star

Song by Elliot Minor (: I've been playing it on repeat

Maya xx

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But then yesterday I got him to phone me. I was fed up of me hating him to be honest. We made up luckily anyway. The day before I had sent him quite a horrible email and when I spoke to him on the phone he said through gritted teeth that it had really pissed him off. I don't blame him. I said alot of harsh things although it was my friend who actually typed it (long story) but I don't want to put the blame on her.

I'm so glad all the hate is over. It was more stressful to hate him than to be friends with him and in the end I told him that I couldn't even remember why we had fallen out. I'm glad he's forgiven me even though he was the one asking for forgiveness. I said to him, "No! I'm the one that needs forgiving, not you!"

He knows where he stands this time aswell. I was being unfair to him, keeping him hanging by a thread. I didn't want to lose the fact that he was in love with me. It was pretty flattering even though I use to yell at him about it. But this time I've told him that no, it's not going to happen. And it's not just him who needs to learn that, it's me too.

Maya xxx

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I found out that Matt hated the fact that everyone threw their problems at him and he had to hide his feelings all the time and it was all getting too much for him because he didn't know what to do about loving both me and Tam and then he started crying which made Tamara start crying which made me start crying. So we were all sitting around crying basically. It wasn't very fun. And it brought out a few home truths like I dump all my shit onto him and then stamp on him and stuff like that. I'm glad he told me that's how he feels but it still kind of hurts, even though I knew I was doing it. I wasn't doing it to be mean but I seem to have this weird problem about being horrible to my exs...

But for some reason everybody felt tense yesterday. My whole family was and I was and just about everyone else I spoke to was. Talk about negative energy. Anybody else have that problem?

Eww my hand has started shaking randomly. I think I trapped a nerve or something.

Maya xx

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After the show, me and Tamara decided to leave because it was a bit hustley-bustley and we needed some fresh air. While we were outside we made friends with these two girls called Alex and Becky. We exchanged msns and then Alex pointed and said "there's Teddy" and there was the bassist from Elliot Minor standing outside The Hub! My eyes literally dropped out of my head. Teddy was so cute and he was just casually talking to random people outside of the door. Me and Tamara went over and we got a picture of us with Teddy. He even put his arms around us to take the picture!

This is a picture of the band and the guy in the middle is Teddy and the guy on the far right is Alex and he's the lead singer and he came right down to us at one point with his guitar!

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Anyway, the conversation was drawing to a natural close (with my brother getting impatient upstairs, waiting for Rob to join him) and then Rob did that thing (you know, when you're about to walk away but then remember something that you were going to tell someone) and he told me that he had played down the bar (I'm going to call it "the bar" cos I don't want to name it - paranoid, I know) that I had sung at last year. I haven't actually been down there since last year (which is shocking since it's July already) but apparently Rob's friend had taken him there and he'd played guitar on the stage.

Is this fate? What are the chances of his friend dragging him down to the same bar that I go to (well, use to go to)? There are millions of bars where I live, so the odds are pretty low.

Anyway, I was thinking of saying to Rob "why don't you come down to the bar on Tuesday" because that's the day that I go down with my friend. My brother wouldn't be there and it would be prime alone-with-Rob time. I think it's a brilliant opportunity but I'm a bit scared to take it. To be honest I hate going to that bar. It's full of drunks and druggies and I'm not even meant to be in there because I'm too young. So if I went there then it would only be because I wanted to see Rob. But Rob is shy so he might not even talk to me much. He might not even turn up and it would have all been for nothing. I don't know what to do. If we met at the bar then my friend would be there and she'd probably announce to everyone that I fancied Rob or something.

I need help, what shall I do??

Maya xx

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...what a hottie! Ok, he's got a slightly murderous glint in his eye there but that's beside the point.

I keep trying to tell my friends what happens at the end but I have to resist (although it's a hard thing to do). It's like the perfect ending. Although it makes you think "how could she go back to the geeky guy after-" Ok, I need to stop before I post the ending on here for the world to see.

I also think that Edmond in this film looks alot like Matt. Maybe they're related?

Maya xx

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