I think last night was one of the most depressing nights of my life.

I found out that Matt hated the fact that everyone threw their problems at him and he had to hide his feelings all the time and it was all getting too much for him because he didn't know what to do about loving both me and Tam and then he started crying which made Tamara start crying which made me start crying. So we were all sitting around crying basically. It wasn't very fun. And it brought out a few home truths like I dump all my shit onto him and then stamp on him and stuff like that. I'm glad he told me that's how he feels but it still kind of hurts, even though I knew I was doing it. I wasn't doing it to be mean but I seem to have this weird problem about being horrible to my exs...

But for some reason everybody felt tense yesterday. My whole family was and I was and just about everyone else I spoke to was. Talk about negative energy. Anybody else have that problem?

Eww my hand has started shaking randomly. I think I trapped a nerve or something.

Maya xx